Blue Grit Podcast: The Voice of Texas Law Enforcement
2024: Ranked #1 Law Podcast
Host: Tyler Owen and Clint McNear discussing topics, issues, and stories within the law enforcement community. TMPA is the voice of Texas Law Enforcement, focused on protecting those who serve. Since 1950, we have been defending the rights and interests of Texas Peace Officers by providing the best legal assistance in the country, effective lobbying at state and local levels, affordable training, and exemplary member support. As the largest law enforcement association in Texas, TMPA is proud to represent 33,000 local, county and state law enforcement officers.
Blue Grit Podcast: The Voice of Texas Law Enforcement
#113- "Standing in for Kyle: A Graduation of Brotherhood" with Jenn and Zoey Henricksen
In this powerful and emotional episode, we sit down with Jenn and Zoey Henricksen — the wife and daughter of Officer Kyle Henricksen, a devoted California police officer and loving father of four who tragically passed away at just 36 after a courageous battle with pancreatic cancer.
Jenn and Zoey share the heartbreak of Kyle’s diagnosis and the painful journey through his final days — but they also reveal something beautiful: how the Thin Blue Line has never stopped showing up for their family.
After moving to Texas, Jenn and Zoey were stunned when Kyle’s former brothers in blue from Pleasanton PD made the journey to celebrate Zoey’s high school graduation, standing in for their fallen brother to honor his legacy.
💙 This is more than a story of loss. It’s a story of brotherhood, resilience, and how law enforcement families never forget their own.
email us at- bluegrit@tmpa.org
and I I kind of when I'm sharing our story finding out the day that he had cancer was the worst day. Um, the day we had to tell the kids was the second, because I can handle my life being different, but I hated that theirs was gonna change welcome back.
Speaker 2:viewers, listeners, I'm your host, Tyler Owen man. We got some things going on this week, Thankful, thankful, thankful that nothing happened over the weekend with the no Kings protest that happened across really America. No significant injuries to law enforcement. We did have some issues here in Austin and, I believe, in Dallas, but for the most part we braced for impact and everything came out on top. I've got some guests on today. You know me running the social media pages.
Speaker 2:I do come across some pretty magnificent and significant stories that just are heartfelt or they're stories that need to be promoted to benefit the pro-law enforcement stigma and to counteract all the stuff that goes on against law enforcement. And one of the stories was a Plessiton police department. Four of them, four Plessiton police officers traveled from California and an officer that was their friend and colleague and, uh, quite honestly, a brother. His daughter was graduating high school and so it it sparked up a friendship between me and this family and I invited him to come on the blue grit and uh and tell the remarkable stories. So, Jen Henderson, Hendrickson, Hendrickson sorry I mess up, mess up the d and Zoe y'all.
Speaker 1:welcome to blue grit man thank you so much for having us how was the trip down? It was good, it was quick no issues on 35.
Speaker 2:No 35 is always notorious, you know, known for for roadway construction and everything else, so it is the only traffic we hit was leaving Dallas.
Speaker 1:after that we were shocker.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, their stories. I again, it's pretty, uh, it's pretty impactful and and, uh, I'll be honest, when I was writing the post up and typing it it got, it got my feels a little bit and uh, kind of shed a tear. So it's uh, let's start off with with talk about your husband, how y'all met, and then we'll flow into how y'all had kids and then flow into what happened over here recently.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right. So Kyle and I met when we I was 18, he was 19. He actually was working at Home Depot with my best friend and on the day of their orientation she came to my house and she was like, hey, there's this really cute guy. I think you went to your high school. Let's pull him up in your yearbook. And so we did. And I was like, oh yeah, he looks familiar. A couple of months later she invited him over to the to her house. We hung out that night and kind of. I guess the rest is history. Uh, we dated for about a year. I was supposed to move. My family moved to Texas back in 2003 and I was supposed to move with them and he, the month before I was supposed to move, he proposed and so I stopped that he was like you're not going anywhere.
Speaker 1:Um, so I stayed um. About a year after that we were married. Um, we were very young. I got married when I was I was 20, he was 21. Um, shortly after we got married, when I met him, he was going to school. He wanted to be a history professor.
Speaker 2:No mention of law enforcement.
Speaker 1:no mention of law enforcement. No family I think he had a cousin that was a sheriff's deputy down in Southern California, or maybe CHP, but no family, no direct family correlation. And so about, maybe, I don't know, we were married maybe six months. He comes home and he said, hey, I think I want to be a cop. And I was like what? No, you're going to be a teacher. And he said, no, I think I want to be a cop. And I was like what? No, you're going to be a teacher. Um, and he said, no, I think I want to be a cop. And, um, I struggled with it. Um, I think my exact words were no, I don't want to be a widow. And, uh, he said no, no, no, it's not. You know, it's not like that. I've been looking into it. I really want to do it. And so he started the process. He got hired on with Alameda County Sheriff's Office and the way they, as far as I know, they still do it that way.
Speaker 2:You get hired on, and then they put you through their academy, their six-month academy Now for the listener, if you were to explain where that is in relation to the major cities in California.
Speaker 1:So Alameda County is the Bay Area, the Bay Area of California, so Northern California, but kind of outside of San Francisco, oakland, like that area. Probably beautiful country it is, yeah, beautiful landscape, yes, and so, um, yeah, so he got hired on with sheriff's department um, went through the academy, um, he graduated the academy December 28th and my mom passed away January 4th.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, right. And so, uh, we had no kids at that time. It was he and I. We were in a one bedroom apartment. You know, I was working in real estate, he was doing that, and so when that happened, I was the oldest of six kids and my youngest adopted sister was five at the time. And so we flew out to Texas to handle all the affairs for my mom.
Speaker 1:And that first night I rolled over and I looked at him and I said I have, I'm, I got to take dust, I'm, you know, I got to say you know I'm the oldest. And and I said you know, I, you never signed up for this. You know we're. You know I was a month, I was a month from 22. He was 23. He was just starting his career. And, uh, it, and so we did, we instant family brought her home, became parents overnight she was five at the time and then that next year, we welcomed our first baby girl. She was born in December and then, two years later, we had our son. And we were just and at that point, about two weeks after my son was born, he had, he was working on, he did a lateral transfer to Pleasanton PD from the sheriff's office.
Speaker 1:So I he about. I think it was like two weeks. We were at his pinning ceremony for Pleasanton PD and that's where he spent the rest of his career. He was there for almost 15 years.
Speaker 2:Talk about the culture of the California police departments and because here in Texas it is a very, very, very close-knit brotherhood. That's what stuck out to me is this perception. I think Texas cops of California that it's so big that you're just a number right. There's huge departments that, like Pleasanton, probably is a three or four hundred man.
Speaker 1:It's actually smaller than that it is, I think at the time when he was working there, I think it was maybe 75, sworn Okay, so it is smaller ACSO.
Speaker 2:However the sheriff's office was very large. Yeah, and that's what's magnificent. It's crazy to us to think about that Because typically we do have some agencies here in Texas that are sheriff's offices that are huge Dallas County, travis County, harris County but for the most part your sheriff's office here in Texas it's very, very small, rural areas. California's a little bit different and they've got different divisions and the way the sheriff's offices are ran, who can run for sheriff and so forth. It's a lot different than here in Texas. But talk about the culture and the brotherhood there in California.
Speaker 1:So it was. It's hard to kind of put into words. It's hard to kind of put into words even with ACSO, because his guys at ACSO, after everything that happened, one of his guys that he worked with moved us to Texas like drove my U-Haul for me. So that was, even though it was an extremely large department he still in the divisions that he worked in. It was still a very, very close knit um community.
Speaker 1:Um Pleasanton, however, I think, because it was a smaller department not all departments are, you know, pleasanton was just, you know, a city, um a little bit more affluent, a nicer city in the Bay area, um, but a very but a small department and they were all um very close.
Speaker 1:Um, he was on um his last assignment. He did four years on motors in the motors unit and that was even, I want to say maybe four or six guys and then their, their Sergeant and stuff like that. So very, very close Um, all the families, like we would have our motors Christmas party every year and all the wives would get together and um, you know, and then the PD would have their Christmas party and they would do, um, they did the open house that they did, where they invited the community to come out and they had, you know, swat was out there doing their presentation and then the canine and Kyle was out there with his um motorcycle and he would have, you know, kids get to sit on the bike and um, so they, I think, because it was a smaller department, they did um, it was, they were, because it was a smaller department. They were very, very close.
Speaker 2:So we talk about growing up. I've got two kids of my own, one daughter, one son very similar to him. Talk about how it was growing up being a cops kid First of all and I think it was more challenging for me because I used to work in a city that we lived in at the time in East Texas and so talk about the persona or the perception of your friends growing up and the way because dads typically that are cops, we see the worst in people and, sadly, we try to protect the ones we do love our spouses and kiddos and so talk about what the perspective was from your perspective being.
Speaker 3:your dad was a cop, so he worked like kind of far away from where we because he didn't work in the city that we lived in. So it was always very like he left it at the door when he got home and he was very good at being like very present when he got home because I know like how demanding that job is.
Speaker 3:It was always just something that like we knew that like he went out and like he did what he did, but when he got home we knew that he was going to be at home with us. He wasn't going to be worried or angry or upset over something that happened at work. He was always with us.
Speaker 2:Was there a difference in seeing your dad out of uniform? It's almost like the moment that you put the uniform on not it changes your your uh, you shouldn't change who you are when you put your uniform on, but there's a distinct difference in how you conduct yourself. Yeah, was it weird seeing that? Sometimes weird seeing. Did you ever see your dad like in a call, a call for service, or a traffic stop? I mean, oh, that's my dad I never saw him personally.
Speaker 3:I never got to go. What are they called ride alongs? I never got to go.
Speaker 2:What are they called?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I never got to go on a ride along with him, so I never saw that. But like when he was in uniform cause there'd be sometimes where, like before school, he'd be leaving at the same time as us Um, it was always kind of weird because he all of a sudden it was like oh, my dad is like this figure who's like, you know, like enforcing the law, the law, like it was. It was kind of weird to see the shift, but he was still like him yeah.
Speaker 2:So were you close to the other families within the other units? Did you grow up with other kids that y'all were kind of like this big, this big, huge family and you had kind of like your uncles?
Speaker 3:yeah. So, um, like the guys who came out for my graduation, um, one of them has two daughters who are like right around my age, so I always hang out with them. One of the guys from ACSO has a daughter who's exactly my age, who I would hang out with her and like we were all I don't know, it was like just a bunch of like uncles I had, it was great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I bet it was so. He's at Pleasanton, career is going good. Yep, marriage is good, family life's good. I mean literally it's. It's. It's the postcard moment of a police officer's life or a life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what year did kind of things start to change? So, um, yeah, we were rolling, um, I was full blown in my career, um, kids were busy, uh, he was working, um, and then so, before he got sick, um, in 2015, his brother, um passed away very suddenly and he had had sole custody of his daughter, his 14 year old daughter, and so we kind of found ourselves in a situation again, and I distinctly that night. We were when, um, after we lost Keith um, Alyssa, his daughter, we were walking out of the hospital and, um, she had um, she had lived with her mom previously. It didn't go well, so she had just moved in with her dad, maybe nine months earlier, and things were going really well for her. And she I remember her looking at me and she said do I have to go back to my mom's now? And I said not tonight, we're not, you know, we're going to come, you're going to come home with us tonight. And so we went home and it was, it was like deja vu. I looked at him and I said you know, and he said I know, and I said okay, and so then we, um, with the help of his parents and his sister, we took guardianship of Alyssa.
Speaker 1:So then we went from our family of three kids to a family of four and, um, you know, we're kind of going through that transition, um, and then in 2018, um, he had been, he was not the type of guy to go to the doctor. I never goes to the doctor. Um, I think he went to the doctor one time it was in 2016, and it we joked about it because he I would joke that he would get sick and I'm like, oh, you have the man flu, like you know, you're kind of being a baby or whatever. Um, and he, he was sick and he's like I think there's something. And he went to the doctor and he had pneumonia and I was like, okay, I feel really bad, like you are actually sick, and so, but that was the kind of like he didn't go unless he needed to. And so the year of 2018, he had gone to the doctor a couple of times Cause he was having this like weird stomach ache, and he would describe it feel it, but you can't, it's not going to stop you from doing everyday things, but he kept going and he went to the doctor several times. They're like nope, nothing wrong, it's reflux, it's this. It's that, it's, you know, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 1:And so, um, one night he came home from work and I distinctly remember my kids had friends over we. I had made a big thing of lasagna, we all were eating. He came home, ate a big dish of lasagna and then went upstairs and we were all hanging out kind of downstairs and he texted me. He said my stomach is really hurting, I think I should go to the ER. And I'm like, ok, like this is serious. Instinctually I was like it's maybe his gallbladder, like he just ate, like it's probably his gallbladder.
Speaker 1:And so we went to the ER, not thinking it was a busy, you know busy night in the ER. We were kind of in the hallway, um, they did an ultrasound and they're like no, we don't see anything. All gallbladder looks fine. You know we don't. You know we don't see anything. And so they asked him do you want us to do a CT? I and typically I'm like the worrier, but I was, we'd been there for hours. I'm like, no, if they don't me for a while, I want to figure it out, let's go ahead and go for it. So they do CT and, uh, they come back and it was a doctor comes back and we're still sitting in the hallway and Kyle was the kind of guy he would make friends with anyone and everyone wherever we went. He was just a good bullshitter, and so he'd like, I mean, he'd made friends with the nurses, like they'd come and you know how you doing and that because we were there for a long time.
Speaker 1:The doctor comes in or comes out to the hallway and she sits down and she says OK, we found what, the what, the what is causing your pain. You have fluid in your abdomen. And he looks at me and he's like fluid in the abdomen. At least it's not cancer. Verbatim. That's exactly what he said and I chuckle, cause that's his personality. And I look at the doctor and I'm like okay, well, what's the food in the abdomen from? And she says we found a tumor on your pancreas. And that was the moment I, the world stopped turning, I, and I looked at her and I said a tumor. I said cancer and she said most likely. We can't say for sure without a biopsy. And I said pancreatic cancer. I said that's like the deadliest cancer. And she looks at me and she says not the deadliest, brain cancer is the deadliest, but this is a close second, exactly Verbatim, and I said okay, and so I lost it.
Speaker 1:I just, you know, and he was just kind of like I mean, he was 35 years old and so, um, we kind of we sat down and you know, they said, you know, you need to go get a biopsy right away. Um, we had at that time we had had actually, cause we were living in California we'd planned a, um, a vacation with a big group of friends to come to Texas. We were doing you know, san Antonio, austin, like all the you know quintessential Texas cities, and so we went home and he's like maybe we should cancel the trip and, you know, get this figured out. I said okay, and so I, you know, told one of my good friends that we were going on the trip with. She was the only person I told what was going on and I said, you know, we, we had to cancel. And she said, totally understand, the day of his biopsy he was telling his doctor that was doing the biopsy. Um, you know, he was supposed to go do this and the doctor looked at him and he said, take the trip. He said you're going to, you're going to be a sore after the biopsy, but take the trip. And so, um, we just canceled this like a week ago. Is there any way we can get back on the flight Miraculously? I have no idea how. They said yeah. So they put us back on the flight.
Speaker 1:Um, we went on the vacation. We hung out for a week with our friends, um, about, uh, about seven days in, um, we got the call from his his primary care, and he confirmed that he had pancreatic cancer stage four. It had metastasized to his liver and his um omentum, which is like your stomach lining Um. So when we got that news, um, I then had to tell everyone that was on the trip because we, you know, I lost it. Um called the airline again. I will never forget the woman on Southwest because she was phenomenal. She got us on the next flight out.
Speaker 1:He just wanted to get home, he wanted to be with the kids and I kind of when I'm sharing our story, finding out the day that he had cancer was the worst day, because I could handle my life being different, but I hated that theirs was going to change. And so we did. We told the kids and then we just kind of slowly started letting everyone else know. The fight really began with our insurance.
Speaker 1:I wanted him I've been told that I can be a little tenacious I wanted him to be at like the top cancer center in the country. I mean I've been told that I can be a little tenacious and I wanted him to be at like the top cancer center in the country. I mean I was calling the Mayo clinic, I was calling all of these, you know, and everywhere that I called, said um, with that type of cancer and the treatment that it would require, it's better for him to be as close to family as possible, so not to move anywhere or anything like that. Um, and one of my friends, um, her husband is actually an ACSO deputy. Um, we were.
Speaker 1:I was telling her what was going on and she had a friend uh, a nurse oncologist friend that worked for Stanford and said you know, hey, call this doctor is Dr Fisher that works for Stanford, stanford oncology. He's one of the top GI oncologists in the country. Get in with him. And so I called um. I was able to get in as a cash paying patient just to be seen. Um, he confirmed and then he let us know that that he was running a trial. It was very promising immunotherapy, that sort of thing. So the reason we kind of went super public with our story was was to help get the push to get off of our insurance and into a better you know cancer treatment center. And at the 11th hour in the state of California cancer is considered a presumptive injury for police and law enforcement, police and fire. So literally at the last possible moment workers' comp kicked in and they said okay, you can go.
Speaker 2:And they covered everything.
Speaker 1:And they covered everything. Yeah, they started.
Speaker 2:That's pretty significant, because it's not like that here in Texas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it was pretty. It was. Yeah, they covered all the treatments. We were off work for a year and so because during the time when we were trying, we had, like his department did, fundraisers, all these things and so, which ultimately ended up being such a blessing because it covered the fact that we weren't working for a year, and a blessing because it covered the fact that we weren't working for a year and you know and so, um, but yeah, they, so they ended up covering the treatments and we were able to.
Speaker 2:He was being treated at stanford and so he never had to technically go back to work on light duty. Nothing like that.
Speaker 1:It was focused on your health it was yeah, so he went out on and california's called 4850. I don't know if that's what it's fmla okay, so.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so he went out on, it's you know it's the FMLA here, okay, so, yeah, so he went out on it's. You know it's just on injury. Basically His department was, I cannot absolutely incredible when he, when we went in to tell them what happened, I remember going in and telling one of the captains and we sat down with him and he was like get better, like just you know, whatever you need from us to you know, just you know, keep us posted, whatever you need they were, they just I can't. And he, I think he was even surprised he's like I, they're, they're so everyone was so just supportive and kind and he kind of I don't know what he thought. If he thought, like you know, I would, just he would just drift away and go and deal with it, but um, every step um the day. So Kyle was kind of known for his uh lus locks. He had longer hair for a cop, like I mean, he kept it. It was, you know.
Speaker 1:Groomed, groomed, but it was like I mean, when we were on vacation my kids could braid it Like it was, you know. So when it came time after he'd started treatment, and it was time like his hair was starting to fall out, so we did this big big family where we all shaved his head, she refused. She was like I can't do it, daddy, your hair I can't do it, but we all kind of. So we made it like this family thing. His department turned around a week or two later and did I believe they called it like was it Cuts for Kyle or something, something like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they all shaved their head, wow, yeah, and all the guys that were already bald held up signs like sorry, we're already bald, but like, and I'll never forget, there was a woman that worked as a like a volunteer officer, who her name was Annette. She had gone through breast cancer and had just just recovered, just come back to work. Come back to work, um, she was, and, uh, she sat down and shaved her head and it was just watching and they put this whole video together and, you know, pushed it out and it was just and just watch and like Kyle could not believe it, he was floored, he was like what are they, what are they doing, you know? And so they did things like that throughout, where it just the support he felt was just insurmountable. You, just I, I am still in awe of it.
Speaker 2:Well, and so some of our viewership, and listen the listeners out there. They are administrators right At some police departments and to hear you say to have the full support of the administration down to the line level employees, you know that's that's significant and that's something that doesn't. Uh, it may cost them as far as the financial benefit of it because of the health benefits, but here in Texas there's not a preemptive type situation. So, um, just be nice, right.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Do the right thing when the right thing's presented.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:And so, uh, I that's one thing I want the listener to listen to. If you're in any administrator position, back the family you have to.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, absolutely, and I will say it went all the way. It was because it went farther than just the department, it was the city, the city, ultimately, because they're, you know, and they were incredible, I, you know, I would say I sat down with, you know, the administration and the city and the chief and all the things, and because it was workers' comp, we did have an attorney, that kind of it's all kind of standard. My attorney, when it was all done, has been. He said I think he's been a workers' comp attorney for like 30 years or something. He said I've never, ever, had a city be this supportive and this helpful and this, you know, they, they didn't fight us on anything. They were like absolutely Like what do we what? What can we do? How do how can we help? It was incredible.
Speaker 2:I just, I, you know, I still yeah, during the during his battle for cancer, there's to be a point in time where physically he just can't get out and do things like mobile on. Uh, can't take, you know, can't attend kids, kids events. Talk about the. Back to the brotherhood, the family aspect. Who stepped in? Who stepped up? Um, in that aspect?
Speaker 1:um, we did so. We had um, we had friends. One happened to be a firefighter. He would come over and take care of our pool, um, because that was something With Kyle's treatment being in. So we lived in the Central Valley and his treatment was in the Bay Area. So we would be driving at least two hours every day. He would go for his infusion, but that would last hours. He would ultimately get sick. It was awful and then we'd drive hours home.
Speaker 1:He and I had decided that when he was first diagnosed, we would do everything in our power to keep the kids' lives as normal as possible. We didn't want to pull them out of their sports. We wanted all their school activities to still go on, all the things, and so my two oldest daughters were quintessential in that they kept the house running as if I were there, even though I wasn't. Everything was clean, there was a meal train, so anytime we were gone for treatment, the kids were fed. Um, my business partner at the time um, every time the kids loved it all. On treatment days, sam would bring over fresh baked cookies and they were like here's your fresh baked cookies, these will make you, you know, and just things like that. But the PD.
Speaker 1:So if we were gone, um, like I remember one one time, both my kids were getting awards at the school and I sent, I sent one text message to my best friend and I said, hey, I can't. And I was the mom, I worked in real estate, but I did that for the flexibility, because I was at everything, I was at everything, and so I was like I can't, and it killed me. And then kyle would tell me just go, just go home, I can stay here by myself. You go home, go be with the, with the kids.
Speaker 1:And but I could, you know, I was like I wish I could be in two places, cause I couldn't, I didn't, I could not imagine leaving him, but I hated that I was missing everything with the kids. And so I texted my best friend and I said, hey, the kids are getting an award in assembly this afternoon, or I would know it was like a day or two in advance. I said I get some, some friends there. That text message turned it, cause Nick showed up, which is one of the guys that came out here for the graduation. He showed up. Um, I mean, I don't even.
Speaker 3:I think there were like 20 people there for like a huge group, a huge group of people.
Speaker 1:And it was, and they were, and they were FaceTiming me when the awards were announced and like and it was. I mean they were middle school or it was. I was in sixth grade, yeah, so they weren't like these may.
Speaker 2:It wasn't a major milestone or anything, but it was just something that we, I would have been at. She felt the support. Yeah, she felt the support, and that's, and that's, that's the difference.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, cause I was nervous going into it, cause I'm trying to think of what what PD guys showed up, because it was hard, because some of them lived in the Bay area, a couple of them lived near us and those are the ones that we kind of saw more, just because, you know, geographically they were closer, um, but yeah, it was, it was. It was pretty incredible, like I just things like that where it would take one call and one of the things. When Kyle got sick, we kind of started this. We used to joke because our kids were busy, we both worked full time.
Speaker 1:It takes a village to raise a family, you know. And so when he got sick that became kind of our slogan it was Kyle's village who can show up? And Kyle's village was massive, like way bigger than any of us, and we kind of had that hashtag. It was like kyle's village and then live like kyle, because up until the very end he still was, because there was a point where he did go back to work he was still. Once he was like technically back.
Speaker 1:He never went back like on full duty but he would go back and hang out in the detective bay and he would, you know, help, help with you know, administration stuff, cause he, just he, his whole life is the head where he had worked and he had gone out of the hat and done all the things and um, and I was grateful cause they, they kind of, you know, let their, yeah, come in, sit and we'll, you know, we'll figure out something for you to do, just cause otherwise he was just kind of sitting at home and there wasn't um, but he kept going like he there wasn't until until the, the very like. I mean, we took our last family vacation to hawaii in what was that?
Speaker 1:in march I think it was march, I think it was spring break of 18 uh, no, it was 19 19 yeah, yeah, and so and we, I mean we were in hawaii and we were, you know, snorkeling and you know, he, he really, until until he couldn't physically do anything, he was doing everything. We weren't, we had a trailer, we were camping, we still went camping. That was one of our favorite things to do as a family Cause.
Speaker 3:he passed in October of 2019. And so, like literally up until the end, he was still doing everything, so his battle was for two years.
Speaker 1:One, one year. It was one year, almost exactly a year, one year.
Speaker 3:He got diagnosed in October of 2018 and he passed in October of 2019.
Speaker 2:Leading up to his passing and then days or weeks after, was there a discussion or promises made to you by his close friends? By his close friends and this is a pretty powerful statement, but it may hit home with you is that your dad is not going to be there to walk you down the aisle. And I started processing this whenever I found this out the story, and for those guys to come back and do what they did, were there any promises made to you by his best friends?
Speaker 3:They always told us that they'd be there for the big things. So when he passed away, they were like we'll be there for your high school graduation, We'll be there and we'll be there for these big events of your life. And so far they have. They've been there for everything, Any big thing they were there for. And even moving out, here they's there's still like supporting and like coming out and like showing up Wow.
Speaker 1:It's great. Well, even we uh, when we decided to move, cause we he passed in October of 2019, in January of 2020, I came out here. One of my best friends had moved out here and I came out to visit and I remember going to target and I walked in and I was like nobody knows me, here I can I, nobody knows. No one's looking at me, no one's like are you okay? Like you know, and I was like this was a very publicized death, Very very yes, we, we were very active in our community.
Speaker 1:I coached um at our all-star cheer gym. We my Kyle coach helped coach baseball, so we were very active in the baseball community. We were very active in cheer. So when?
Speaker 3:and I mean we at one point were on the front page of our newspaper, like it was very public. But we also, we just my sisters- did high school sports at the time.
Speaker 1:for everything, yes.
Speaker 3:Like at both the at the elementary school and the high school. They were both very involved.
Speaker 2:And then you're at the junior high, so it's, it's just kind of a compound everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.
Speaker 1:And then you're at the junior house, so it's it's just kind of a compound everywhere, everywhere, everywhere we went and when, when he was going through it, I it was amazing. I loved it because we had support from, from friends and family, but also just strangers, like we would go, we would go to target and there were. This woman stopped me once and she's like I just want you to know that we're praying for you and you know, I didn't even know her. Um, after he passed, that became a little bit challenging. Um, just because it would be the most mundane thing, like I would I tell the kids, okay, I got to run to target really quick and I'd go to target and I would just be doing, you know, mom, stuff, I'm grabbing milk, I'm doing the things. And then I would run into someone that knew and I would get like how are you.
Speaker 1:And then I'm like oh, my husband just died, like I'm you know, you know, and so it was just, and then it's like that at school too, like I knew.
Speaker 3:everyone at my school knew what had happened. So like I knew and like we, were still young.
Speaker 2:Yeah, constant reminder all the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we were young but I knew, all the other kids knew and it was just, it was constantly coming up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so when we decided to, we told everybody, yeah. And then, and they all, like I remember, like I said, his buddy that he worked with at ACSO and his wife he they were both deputies Um, they're like, well, we'll drive your U-Haul. And I was like, nick, you don't have to do that. He's like, yeah, of course, tam and I will take a road trip with y'all. And then, um, his, the graduation plus some came loaded up the U-Haul for us. Like it was just like things like that where they didn't. You know, after we were here I went back for her 16th birthday. We did a sweet 16 in California. They all came to her birthday party. Like they just keep you know. And Nick and Nick I, I kind of keep in contact with him the most. He's a lieutenant now and, like you know, I'm like, hey, what's going on at the department? You know, like they just make us still feel very much like we're a part of it. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, so you're in Texas. Things are going good, constantly kind of getting updates. Were you told by them that they were going to be there, or did they just kind of show up? Were you told by them that they were going?
Speaker 1:to be there, or did they just kind of show up? So we knew, so they had always said, and it was one of those things, and I don't know why, because they made promises and they told me, and I now know too, that they had conversations with Kyle when he was sick. I am an eternal optimist and during his battle there was no part of me that thought he would not make it. I was like he's going to kick this, we're going to. You know, he was what he would consider himself more of a realist. And so he was having conversations. You know, he never told me he was like no, babe, like we got this, but he was having conversations with people and he, you know, with his guys, and he and they, they had made him promises like we'll be there, we will make sure that everything is taken care of, and so, um, when each time one of those promises is fulfilled, I'm I'm like dang, they really like you know, it's one thing to you know, cause I feel like when someone's sick, it's easy to say all that you know, well, you're going to, you know, but they genuinely have like they've never wavered.
Speaker 1:Um, so I did when, um, when it was coming time to her grad for her graduation. I talked to Nick and I was like you know, hey, you know, and, or I think he brought it. He was like hey, like you know when's the graduation? And I was like are you guys really going to come out here? And he's like absolutely a hundred percent, like we're you know. And I was. And so I remember when they first because people know a Texas high school graduation tickets are hard to come by, and so I was requesting extra tickets for the guys. And so I reached out to her principal and kind of told him the story. And he said you know, unfortunately I have no control over tickets. I will do whatever I can. And so that was when I reached out to the which I now know is the assistant chief of Flower Mound PD, where we live, and I said, hey, do you have any insight? Who could I talk to about getting them tickets to the graduation? And he said reach out to the SRO sergeant. He would probably the school resource officer sergeant. He would probably be the best one, um, to kind of help navigate that. Let me know how that goes and if not, I'll help you. We'll go in a different direction. And so that's what I did.
Speaker 1:I reached out and kind of told him our story and then it actually so happened One of the girls that I cause I still coach cheer out here. Her dad was his partner, so he was on the email thread too, so that I'm talking to his mom like kind of, and she was like, yeah, they're going to do all that they can. But they ended up reaching out to the school district and the district stepped up and they gave the guys. They said how many tickets do you need? And at that point there were four of them that were coming. Got them four VIP tickets Because they came in full uniform as if they were on duty and so got them. You know, they escorted them into the graduation. Um, when Zoe got there, they told her cause it's how many kids were in your graduating class?
Speaker 3:751. Yeah, there's a lot of kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so they told her. They're like when you get into the tunnel, you need to find someone that works here and tell them that you're Zoe Henriksen, and she was like okay.
Speaker 2:Right yeah.
Speaker 3:And so and you can kind of I like found them when I walked in and they're like okay, like we're going to go to the field now, and I was like it's going to look like I'm getting arrested. These four guys in full uniform are pulling me like out of the hallways to the field. But we like went out and we had to take pictures in the middle of by like the stage, so I got in like an individual picture with them. Um, like before I graduated, it was really nice.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Yeah, that didn't ask her. They didn't escort you across whenever you were getting your diploma. They just did photos before and after.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, and then they were sitting right by the edge of the stage. So like as I walked off, I saw them and they were all cheering and I heard my name called and I look and they were all recording me and I was.
Speaker 1:I told them. I said because, and then, whoever the professional photographer was at the graduation that the school had hired, I must have like been on that side, because they got several photos of the guys and they literally all look like the proudest dads, they're like and, and then one of them was recording it and you can hear them all saying Zoe, zoe, we love you, zoe, and like it was just like, yeah, like I can't just, you know, and we were sitting like on the other side of the field and so I'm texting with them, I'm like she's going to walk off on your side and they're like we're ready. And you know, it was just, it was absolutely, truly incredible.
Speaker 2:The thing that's crazy about it to me is that, you know, several years have passed since he you know six years and so they valued that friendship and that brotherhood and they valued you to show up for these milestone events. And you know, I'm looking forward to whatever life brings you. You're going to be attending a college up in Vermont now, moving forward. So if you ever need anything from us at TMPA standpoint, we've got connections up in that northeastern side of the United States and so we're here for you. But man, what an incredible. We talk about the blue line, we talk about the family aspect of law enforcement and sadly, sometimes a little bit of that's diminished over the years. I think that his age group and a little bit older still values that a lot. This younger generation is getting getting better, but it's not as strong as as as when I started.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so to see his colleagues come through on something they they promise is absolutely incredible.
Speaker 1:It was wild and it's Pleasanton PD showed up, like I said, in ways that we never, you know, could have imagined. However, surrounding agencies, we, during his his battle, while he was sick, I would, every couple of weeks, we'd have a knock on the door and it would be someone you know. We had this one motor's officer come from I'm drawing a blank, I think it was like Castro Valley or something, but like a Bay area, but like farther Bay area. Um wrote like, wrote out to our house and was just like hey, I just want to let you know that we were, we've got your back. You know the city that we lived in.
Speaker 1:Um, they sent officers over to the house, like whatever you need, and I just, I felt this, um, I, everyone talked about the blue line and you feel it like we'd go to all the you know and um, but I think, like being in that situation and see, like really seeing them show up before, I think it was like the day before he passed I want to say they had planned like a motors parade and they had several agencies that he had worked with because they would do, because the Bay Area is like there's a lot of different agencies they would all work together.
Speaker 1:So all the guys that he worked together on motors drove in a like a in a parade, like you know, from the Bay area to our house and his, his partner Matt, so Pleasanton, was part of it. His partner Matt, rode his bike and brought it to the house and they had all um, they had taken a picture um from one of their rides and his, his motor's unit had all signed it and we have a photo. I want to say there was probably 50, 50 cops in front of our house, like our neighbors were like what is going?
Speaker 2:on.
Speaker 1:But we had a photo, so we have a photo. Matt had parked his bike right in front of our house and then everyone just surrounded that Kyle was unfortunately too ill to come outside, so we were FaceTiming him. But all of us were outside and we, you know, got to meet everybody and it was just things like that. Where it was. It was just a sign, a show of support. Um, the day of his funeral, from his, we drove from our city to where his funeral was, which is in the Bay area, closer to where he worked. Um, the streets were lined with our, our friend, our baseball friends, our cheer friends, our, our family, but also police and fire, and every overpass from our city to Dublin, where he was, where his funeral was, every overpass had police and fire just saluting us as we. It was it was truly.
Speaker 1:And then, after that, the first anniversary of his passing, we were here in Texas and I was dreading it. You don't know, it's the first. We don't know how everyone's going to be the dispatchers that he worked with, who were all incredible. I just love them, still talk to them all the time. They sent us a huge charcuterie board and they were like snack on this all day. They had paid, they had set up for someone to come out and they put Kyle's village yard signs in our yard. Um, and then the PD guys had made arrangements for um. Kyle was a huge star Wars fan, like borderline nerd but not borderline.
Speaker 1:He was a nerd, and so um, they had made arrangements for a. They had rented out a one theater at our, at a local um cinema for just us, for, and they said, take 20 people. Um, they did a showing of. Was it return of the jedi or no, it was um.
Speaker 2:Oh, cohen's gonna be so upset that we're not remembering this, because my son is also a huge star.
Speaker 1:It was one of the star Wars movies and, um, he made it, they made arrangements. They're like you go, it's, everything's taken care of here. It was like a $500, like AMC gift card, Wow. And they were like and the kids, you know cause you take your kids to the movies, do you want guys? They thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Speaker 1:But when we got there, what I didn't know they had done is, um, they uh prior to when we had first moved out here, ironically, pleasanton and Flower Mound had to do a, a joint um investigation. They had a crime that had occurred, um, from Pleasanton in Flower Mound, and then Flower Mound PD had to go out to Pleasanton, so they ended up. So the two captains that one that I was really good friends with, and then the new captain and Flower Mound had become friends and and so Larry, the captain from Pleasanton, had told him about us, and so captain Jennings came over, or he put me in touch with them. So, um, so anyways, the night of the anniversary, not only captain Jennings had brought over um, a cake, I think, or some some pastries and like a, uh, like a, a, a sign that says like you know, you got this and you know, and things like that.
Speaker 1:But when we got to the theater it was a joint effort between Flower Mound PD and Grapevine PD, but it was. There were cop cars all lined up in front of the theater, all lights on. All the officers were standing outside of their cars. We pull up. They had printed out Kyle's Village and we had turned it into it was a Star Wars symbol. It was the. Which one is it?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, it's the Imperial. No, the Rebel Alliance.
Speaker 2:It's the Rebel Alliance, Sorry.
Speaker 1:I have it tattooed on my arm. I'm trying to think of it. It's the Rebel Alliance, so anyways, but it has, like, the thin blue line in it and it says Kyle's Village. They had taken those signs and put them all over the theater and so when we walked up, there were just, you know, just the lights, and we got to meet all of these officers, and these were officers that you know. They were out here, they were in Texas, like they didn't, didn't even meet them.
Speaker 3:No, had no idea, but they were just, and they were there and they escorted us into the theater, they hung out with us for and it was just I- mean it's so amazing because when you're going through what we did, there's like so much support in the moment and like when it's happening, and then it just kind of fades out. But we still have the same support we did back then, today with the pd guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah the most support you need is not. Is not the time or during the time of? Which is great that you get it it's the moments after and it's the months and years after the fact that you, you need those moments. So how incredible. Yeah, what would you say to the 25 year old spouse, 30 year old spouse that's married to a cop right now? What advice would you give them?
Speaker 1:Uh, it takes a certain, I think, kind of spouse to be able to, um, understand and kind of live that lifestyle. Being with a cop is not for the faint of heart. They are. They are a special breed. I always said that they're a very special breed. Um, supportive, be supportive as much as you possibly can.
Speaker 1:I was very lucky and, like she had kind of mentioned earlier, kyle was very good at when he was at work. He was at work, he was at home, he was just dad and he was just Kyle. And most people when they met him off duty, a cop would have been the last thing that they would have guessed that that's what he did for a living, because it's just what he. That's how he was. Um, but yeah, my advice just be um, as supportive as possible. Um, advice for the officers that are out there try to turn it off when you're at home. I know it's hard.
Speaker 1:Um, I used to say that he got to know 100 of me and there would always be five to 10% of him. That I wouldn't because of his job, because you guys, he had to see and go through things that he said he, you know, he's like I don't want you, I wouldn't want you to know this, I don't want you know, um, but he was still very good at when he was home. He was home and so I think I saw he was really good at that with the kids. I still, you know, being his spouse, like I knew when he was, you know, struggling.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But his ability for him because, like did you, I don't know if you've ever I've met it like it.
Speaker 3:His job never even really came up until, like, he got sick. Like we would like he would be like oh, I gotta go to work.
Speaker 3:Bye yeah, and like the only thing is like he would work overnight, so like sometimes our christmas we had to start, we'd had, we'd have to wait for him to get home, but he'd walk through the door and he was our dad. He was not. He was not. Oh, I just got off duty. He was just our dad and it was christmas morning and we were unwrapping presents like he was. Oh, he always left it at the door. That's good.
Speaker 3:He was very good at that best day, worst day of zoe um, I think the worst day for me, I think the day that they told us he was diagnosed. That was because we I had no idea any of it was happening. Um, like we knew that they were coming home from their vacation a couple days early and we were like frantically cleaning the house because it was just us four kids, like it had gotten dirty and so we were cleaning all day.
Speaker 3:Um, and like we didn't know that that was happening when, like, when they got home, we didn't know what was gonna happen yeah um, but best day, I think, recent in recent years, I think my graduation day, just feeling the support because I was obviously it's hard because I knew my dad wasn't there, but I felt the support from everyone else because everyone, like they just were there for me yeah, that's what matters.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I can't thank, thank you all enough for coming on. I mean, what an incredible story and we're honored to share it here on Blue Grit and for our viewership and listeners out there here in Texas and across. Congratulations on your graduation. Good things are to come. Vermont would not have been my pick, but we're going to support you anyway, in the spirit of your dad. So congratulations, thank you. We've got three random questions. Rapid fire. Hope you guys didn't study. We ask them on every single podcast episode. Okay, what is your favorite line from a cop movie or your favorite cop movie?
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know. I shouldn't say what my answer is yeah, you can.
Speaker 3:Is yours sad? No, I shouldn't say what my name is. Is yours sad, is it?
Speaker 1:from that end of Watchmen. No, it's funny it's the other guys.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's the great one I know he does the desk pop. The peacock one is usually the.
Speaker 3:I don't know what mine would be, or Super Troopers.
Speaker 2:What's your favorite cop car? What kind of car do you think looks cool? The Chargers, I agree, I like looking at the old cop cars just look cool and you would want to drive the Chargers.
Speaker 3:Chargers, yeah, I agree, I like looking at the old cop cars Like the really old ones.
Speaker 2:Like the Ford Crown Vic.
Speaker 3:I think so. I think that's what they are.
Speaker 2:That's the best one ever made.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like the old yeah, the 90s cop car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what's your favorite drink or choice, mom, whenever you Enjoying time with the fam?
Speaker 1:Ooh, this is going to be a Starbucks strawberry refresher with lemonade.
Speaker 3:We're getting one today.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's awesome.
Speaker 1:It's awesome.
Speaker 2:Well, again, I can't thank you all enough for driving down and sharing your story with us. Looks like you've extended that Blue Line family to TMPA and we're going to be here to support you any way we can.
Speaker 1:We appreciate it very much, absolutely Thank you.
Speaker 2:Hey, you guys, take care, stay safe, god bless you. And, as always, may God bless Texas. We're out. Thank you, thank you.
